omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize