Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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