Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
