Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
