My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
