he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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