Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
