Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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