Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
