so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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