she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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