I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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