Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
