Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Found the puke drawer
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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