found the other keg... it's in the tree
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
