pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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