It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
