dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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