You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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