you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
