i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize