they need to just BURY HIM!
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'm both gender and math confused
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
