Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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