Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
