he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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