I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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