why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
