it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
