I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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