there's paper in my vomit.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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