She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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