We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
