dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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