wrigley field is MILF paradise
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
