Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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