i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
