i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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