At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
