I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
