I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
