I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
