I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
