Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I think people are normalizing furries
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize