I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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