you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
