after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
