I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize