Grow some girl-balls and come out already
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
