I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Come on in and take your pants off
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