My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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