Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
