Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
