You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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