The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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