And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
