went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Randomize
