I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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