Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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