I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
