Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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