what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
