Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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