He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Panties = found
Randomize
