The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
