i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize