He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
