remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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