That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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